The hand crème for people who love smooth skin but hate everyone else. Don’t Touch Me combines lightweight hydration with a delightfully antisocial attitude. Made with nourishing cocoa butter and fast-absorbing jojoba oil, this clean, vegan, and cruelty-free formula leaves hands silky AF without the greasy feel. The bright, sunny blend of island citrus delivers instant mood-lifting energy—without requiring any actual human interaction. Packaged in a recyclable tube with a chic gold cap, it’s a functional self-care staple wrapped in unapologetic personality.
Why customers love it:
• Everyday hydration: Lightweight blend with jojoba oil + cocoa butter.
• Non-greasy feel: Fast-absorbing, silky finish.
• Uplifting scent: Island Citrus brings bright, fresh, “do not perceive me” energy.
• Gift-ready packaging: Recyclable tube with luxe gold cap.
• Clean beauty standards: Vegan, cruelty-free, made in the USA.
Best for:
Retailers looking for humor with an edge — perfect for gift shops, lifestyle boutiques, apothecaries, and apparel stores where customers love personality-packed self-care.
Merchandising ideas for retailers:
• Position as an under $25 impulse buy for introverts and sarcasm enthusiasts.
• Display with sass-forward items like snarky journals, shower steamers, and matches.
• Perfect for “bad mood” gift sets, break-up boxes, or anti-Valentine’s displays.
• Great for Holiday Gifting, Valentine's Day Gifts, Birthday Gifts, Mother's Day Gifts, Everyday Gifts or Stocking Stuffers under $25
The Chez Gagné twist (straight from the tube):
“If ‘GET AWAY FROM ME’ is your vibe… we’ve got you covered. Our non-greasy blend of jojoba oil and cocoa butter softens rough hands and hard edges alike. We’ll make you hydrated, radiant, and still totally unapproachable. You. Are. Welcome.”
Product details:
• Name: Don’t Touch Me – Moisturizing Hand Crème (Island Citrus)
• Size: 3.4 oz / Tube dimensions: 2.4 x 5.75 in.
• Packaging: Recyclable tube with luxe gold cap
• Formula: Lightweight, fast-absorbing blend with cocoa butter + jojoba oil
• Scent: Island Citrus (bright, fresh, sunny)
• Made in USA: From domestic + globally sourced components
• Vegan + cruelty-free
